Life after chemo

been a while. i'm going to hv my 6th chemo next tues if all goes well. couldn't believe it myself. very grateful to my sis n friends for their encouraging words and motivations. my sis will come at least twice a mth armed with many medicines for me.

d 1st and 2nd chemo were okay. however after 3rd chemo i started coughing non-stop. that's my after effects of chemo. some people they hv mouth ulcers, could not move and many more. but mine....cough. had to wear pad all d time. cried a few times coz very difficult to pray. 

d climax so far would be after d 4th chemo. my white cell was low. 0.7 to be exact. had to be hospitalised for 1 wk just in time for Aidiladha. very stressful n sad that morning waiting for d kids to arrive. my beloved hubby thought that going to kenduri is far more important than visiting    d wife in d hosp. so lesson learnt that day was i can sacrificed everything for my hubby when he was sick but he definitely can't. very sad indeed.

so here i am praying that my 6th chemo will be okay. then will proceed with radio theraphy. these ordeals n obstacles hv taught me who cares abt me n willing to go d extra miles. very grateful that d children seem to be okay n don't mind that much that they had just to stay at home coz i cldn't take them out as usual.

a month had passed after my surgery. lots of things had happened. whatever it is my fate and destiny is in God's hand.


tomorrow is the much dreaded chemo session. d 1st ever. had talked to quite a few people about the after effects of chemo and everyone has different stories. i don't know how mine going to be. just praying hard that i will survive this n be strong for the sake of my children. i take all these as a test from Allah. He knows what is the best for me.


hope i will be strong tomorrow n can move about as usual after that. i have to because have no one who is able to help me to go through my routine as usual. Amin!!!

lots of things had happened. my scouts went to state level again but unfortunately couldn't be with them due to my own misfortune. the worst thing befalls upon me. yeah!!! i am diagnosed with breast cancer and had successfully removed my right breast. now i'm recuperating at home while waiting for my chemo sessions in 1 month's time.

during my time of need my beloved sister is my pillar of strength. she took a few days off just to be with me. now she is the one who is hunting n buying all sorts of supplements for me as i have to prepare myself mentally and physically for chemo. as yours truly is invalid now. i was asked to restrain myself from driving. therefore i have to depend on my sis n beloved neighbours to do errands for me. 

so where is my other half? well!!!! some things are better left unsaid.

praying hard to Allah that i will get through all these for the sake of my two small children.

mid-year exam n d weather is scorching hot. d air conditioner also not working properly. what to do. just bear with it. feeling very tired of work. there's endless meeting n various datelines to be met. somehow or rather i couldn't care less now. this definitely not a good sign for me. this could be a symptom of depression and tiredness. wish i have money which grows on tree so that do not have to tolerate these unprofessional and heartless and emotionless people who treat the stuff as if we are robots!!!

Hari Raya

Aidilfitri is lurking nearby. not really excited with d fiasco. hvn't shop anything. already prepare stuff 4 d boys b4 ramadhan. since mum passed away this festive occasion does not really means that much 2 me. d kids r also seems uninterested. so many things refrain me from enjoying hari raya. not keen 2 go back n spend d auspicious day with my gossip monger in-laws. really disgusted with few of them who r snobs. well just hv to tolerate n keep on smiling as if nothing happen. what a life!!!!

blood is thicker than water?????

had been patient for many years but recent event made me think. can i remove this person from my family list?????

sakit hati... geram n all d bad feelings r inside me. unfortunately have no one two share the burden except beloved sis who also had d same feelings. wish i never known this person my entire life. but what to do. we can't pick our family. arghhhhhh.............

it's already coming up to d 6th day of Ramadhan and i yet to break fast with beloved hbby. fortunately fikri never complaint and he couldn't be bothered anyway. as fpr me life goes on as usual. still hvn't finish d 1st verse of holy Quran. felt sleepy by 9 p.m but still manage 2 do terawih on my own.

anyway my little bro promise 2 come 2moro. at least he remembers his big sis. been yrs that we sat 2gether to break fast. how time flies!!!